Just a little bit more

More breakdowns... hopefully after all this, will come my breakthrough. 

The past two weeks had me feeling on edge, because of the never ending mock audits for our upcoming JCIA accreditation renewal.  Two years had gone so fast, and now we have to go through this again.  

Share ko lang... spent the last two weekends of October in Dubai, with the future sister in law.  It was refreshing being around her.  We would chat every now and then. Just now she told me, "Konting tiis na lang."  It was true though.  November is flying by fast. We will see each other again in December, Inshaallah.  Hope by then we both would have lost the weight we gained by pigging out so much. Haha! 

I can feel melancholia trying to get the best of me, yet again, but I am too drained to entertain the feeling.  

The only thing that kept my hope up, is that it will be December soon. I am about to be with the people I long to be with! Kaya nga konting tiis na lang. Kahit ang sarap na magtantrums sa pagod. Haha! 

Because I was not able to write as much as I thought I wanted, bear with me if I keep writing anything under the sun. Just going with the way I feel. 

The video below triggered my emotions recently. 

I was happy to be back home, but I was very anxious at the time.  My sisters and I were worried about my parents and my brother, who went to Moalboal for a cousin's wedding.  Our hometown in Cebu was ravaged by a powerful typhoon, and days had already passed. We still haven't heard anything from them.  

Never mind that I had to spend some of my precious days in quarantine.  That time, we were required to stay in a hotel for five days, and could only be sent home after having a negative swab result. Spent seven days in total, at the hotel.  I thought I would die of boredom, and of agony from waiting to be with my family.  Didn't turn out that way.  Hubbybi made my stay bearable.  He was with me all the time.  I never felt I was alone, or secluded.  My first night, I couldn't sleep because of thinking of my bro and parents, but if not for that, I would consider my isolation, my absolutely best rest.  Of course, I also had Cordy with me. During the times he was busy with work, Netflix kept me company. Was hooked with He's Into Her. Haha! Just had to give in to that teeny bopper side of me, because why not? 

Looking back now, it was the time that he gave so much effort, just for me to not feel like I was alone.  It made me appreciate him so much.  I would always say, I am used to being alone, but he would say matter of factly, "Hindi ka na magiisa, kase kasama mo na ako."   

The view from my window

I thought to myself then, "Where do we go from here?"  Although he was succeeding in making my heart happy, I did not want to raise my expectations.  I did not demand anything.  What happened two weeks after that, was a brave step he took on his own volition.  

Which brings me to my NOW. 

It feels so surreal.  The first half of the year left me feeling so uncertain, because I was really dealing with separation anxiety from my single life. I loved being single!!!  Now that December is approaching, there's this complacent beating in my heart. Things are about to get real! Legit! 

So work is giving me hell right now.  SIGH.  

Just a tad bit more. I'll get to where I need to be.