if you forget me

If You Forget Me
-Pablo Neruda-

I want you to know
one thing.


You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love,
ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

sigh...

I thought I was all cried out... not totally.

I thought my crying nights are over...well, I wouldn't be me if that happened, right? I still find myself lonely and longing, but I guess this feeling is normal after a break up. Hahaha...I'm officially single. I haven't written it yet in my diary coz writing too much still hurts for me. It's crazy... I got three pages left and I can start writing in a new one. It hurts to write. And I guess I'm still am not writing much compared to the way I usually write.

Sigh... just gotta think of what my mom told me.

Everything he and I had... it was good while it lasted. That's just what I'm gonna think about, and God has His own reasons why He took away one of the things I wanted most. "Wanted"... I thought "needed", but I guess He's trying to tell me that it was one of the things I only wanted. He knows best what I am in need for. Little by little, everyday (it's a song I learned from a charismatic song book)... I am letting go. I lift up all my hurts to God, and it does make me feel so much better, but the pain comes back once in a while. Sigh... life...parang buhay. Hahaha! Korny pero masaya!

Thank God for Michael Buble...his songs help me get by. Everytime I feel sad and lonely, I listen to his songs... You don't know me really blows me away (maybe someday...sshhh...sshhh...haha!basta, got a really great day dream about it) and my favorite is his remake of Quando Quando with Nelly Furtado. Hehe... I didn't know I was into classical and jazzy music. The things I came to be because of changing things. Hahahaha! I haven't been feeling like myself lately.

Inerks out!