I'd like to know

I can stare at you for hours
and share nothing but my variety of sighs.
This is what time has for me.
A colorless void is eagerly swallowing me whole.
I try to move
but their voices keep me where I am.
I try to be free
but my feet stay stuck on the ground.

I don't know how you do it.

I hide beneath this undaunted facade.
You can stare at me for hours
and would not even know
that I'm slowly, painfully dying.

I don't know how you do it.

I don't know how you can stand it.

I wish I didn't leave my dream.
I wish I was in that place where my only responsibility
was to breathe.

I wish I could move on from this place.
I wish I could go on to some place
where my pleas could be heard.

Please tell me how you did it.

I'd like to know how to stop feeling this way.

Like all hope is lost.
Like there is nothing good left on earth.
Like there is no place where I belong.

I'd like to know how you don't feel any hurt at all.

Going mad

"...and some kind of madness has started to evolve." - Muse

I feel so hopeless that I don't wanna wake anymore.  That's the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning.  Even now that the day is starting to end, I have to purposefully lose myself in a song to keep me going... 

Aaaahhh... this is indeed madness. :( 

I'm at the point in my life where everything is held within a big pause. Everything, as in everything, is on hold.  If I were at the middle of a river, and I had to get to the other side by using boulders as a path, then I would be at the point where the boulder path ends.  I have to wait for the river to calm down before I can finally crossover. 

They say there is always hope... though I can't seem to find even a glimpse of it, I have no other choice but to press on. There's no looking back now. I need to chase my dreams and I will die trying.

I can't let whatever kind of madness I am feeling take control right?