mahal na mahal kita

Didn't I use to say that when I decide to say I love you it means I really mean it?

And when I really mean it, I say: MAHAL KITA.

Well...

MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA.

Get that?

Don't ask why. I, for one, have given up asking why. I just do. :)

Sinta... mahal na mahal kita... mahal na mahal kita. :')

february ache

I hate February for all the most bitter reasons. Who needs valentine's day? (super bitter!) The darn day is only good for businessmen! (Hala! The bitter tirade continues.hehe) I just think that the super famous day is too commercialized.

For years now my opinion about v-day has not changed. Too commercialized... it kinda loses its real meaning.

Anyway, it is thanks to my forever friends the adiks that I somehow find the day special... because for years now I've been celebrating valentines with them. (Love you guys!) My true friends always help me get through valentines day unscathed. :D

"I'm through with love. It's only a madness. I'm finished with it, this torment was never my joy. Who needs a heartbreak? Don't want any body to call my own."

Told ya... bitter much!

But this year's a little bit different. No, my opinion still has not changed, but I came to accept the real reason why I hate v-day. It's the way people act so mushy and cheesy... all the public displays of affection make me sick! It kinda makes me feel v-day are only for couples...which is totally false because it is for everyone. I am a living proof that the day is also for single people. (O bitter uli?!)

What am I trying to drive at?...

This year... it felt different.

"But when you're near the sweetest sensation takes over my heart. I feel like I'm losin' control. These moments of weakness allow me a glimpse of heaven. I've been so strong. Could this be true?... for you broke my resolve now I'm tryin' to fight but I just cannot deny that I could really go for you."

Darn.

For a few precious moments there, I totally lost it. Gone somewhere... don't know where. Blank. So not me. Just acted on impulse.

You know what's so weird about it?

Hypothetically, I would have felt like hiding in my closet and feel abashed... but I did not feel that. Looking back, the unexpected plot just makes me laugh at myself. That subtle laugh filled with disbelief that I can go for something like that...

And I felt that bittersweet ache that I feel every February... only this time, there was more sweetness. Out with most of the bitterness, in with more sweets...

I must be getting better at loving life. :')

monsters and surprises

The unexpected... yes... something unexpected yet again happened. Who would've thought?

"As I turn away, I'm secretly hopin'..."

And then it did.

... yes it did come around and broke the spell on me.

Too bad I just said good bye. :')

All for the best I suppose.