A time to close my eyes

The truth, I find, is one the most scariest things in life.

Sometimes it is a saber that tricks you into thinking that it would not pain you when it strikes.  When it does hit you more than once, that would be the only time you'll realize that it still hurts, no matter how blunt you think it is.

Most of the time, it is sharp.  That's what makes it even more frightening.  Is there even a need for me to describe it?  People say it all the time.  The truth hurts, and it cuts perhaps more deeply than a knife.  The truth can make an incision made by a knife look like a simple abrasion.  The truth sticks to your gut.  When you try to run away from it, it sucks up everything inside of you... your hope and your dreams.

Tonight, I deliberately accepted a truth I can't continuously run away from.

Yes, I want many things at the same time and it looks like the nine out of ten things that I desire, God answered me with no.

I know everything happens for a reason.  It's something I keep telling myself.  When all of this pain is over I would triumphantly say, "There you go... This is why God said no."  There's still tomorrow. I can try being happy again.

But for now... since everything just feels so crazy and I feel like crap, I can do nothing but close my eyes, and see while not being able to physically see.  What I can't see would not hurt me... or so I think.