Nonesense stuff

I went out with Eloisa and Paula this afternoon... we tried to play basketball in a place not so familiar to us. I asked a friend to accompany us, and I ended chatting with them instead of playing basketball.

Yesterday was our enrollment. The day didn't work out for me. I was so tired at the end of the day, I felt like crying. I had a fight with the tricycle driver and my night was really ruined.

Sigh... mom's leaving for Thailand again. I just feel so sad. We haven't really bonded that much since she got in here. Her schedule's so hectic. Everyday ,she's out of the house meeting with friends and buying stuffs to bring with her when she comes back to Thailand. Iba talaga kapag may nanay sa bahay. Life was a bit easy when mom was around.

Not meant to be written

More than an hour was wasted just for scribbling what my heart wants to say. I must've written a thousand words for my supposedly entry for my blog today. And I ended up accidentally deleting it. Talk about being unlucky!

I cannot write everything down again!

I just said that I had a great night...we experienced an earthquake... he called and I was happy with the way our conversation turned out. I wrote in detail how pathetic I was because of the way he made me feel. And I wrote how he had finally managed to touch me once again.

I thought the entry was great. It was long, I said everything I wanted to say. But I got it deleted.

Maybe God thinks it's too cheesy. It was not meant to be written... so here I am writing something else.

Of pains and fears

Of pains and fears

I've been waiting all week for him to call. It's already Saturday and I still haven't heard from him. I promised myself that I would start to get not too attatched to him, but here I am still wishing that he would call.

Sigh... why am I still hurting? I liked the way I felt numb last week. But last night, I went to church to attend mass, and I prayed about us... and I couldn't help but cry again. I still am not yet prepared to lose him.

They say that love conquers all... if it really does, then why can't it conquer distance? And if love frees us from all the pain in life, then why am I hurting now? If we're not really meant to be, how can love take my pain away?

At twenty, I finally realized what love is, and what love is not.

I had finally managed to change my phone settings. My profile does not include our anniversary date anymore. Little by little, I know I can finally let him go. I just don't wanna hope too much. I am afraid of getting hurt again.

They say love casts out all fear... but all I have now are fears inside of me.