slaps and blows

the blows keep on coming...

If this aren't clear signs, then I don't know what they are.

Yeah... I asked for it, and I got it.

Thank You's:

1. Thank God for letting me see the signs.
2. Thank God I felt the blows and slaps.
3. Thank God for letting me see the light.
4. Thank God I still have my heart with me.
5. Thank God I can still forgive.
6. Thank God I still have the courage to stand up again after tripping over.
7. Thank God for trying to heal my soul that just nearly died of humiliation.
8. Thank God I have friends to share my laughter and frustrations with.
9. Thank God for not making me fall so deep.
10. Thank God I still find reasons to be greatful and gracious when I have all the right to be bitter.

This is me... really getting tired, but trying to get on my feet after a disheartening fall.

Soon, I'll find, that everything that happened has a magical reason.

I'm keeping my faith...

That I will once again achieve that magical feeling... after I find out why he isn't meant for me.

string of words

just a phase... that will probably never end... it's always like this... never had the skill to make it through the bend...

i grasp what is left... nothing there but the things i can no longer hide... what wounds are there, with unknown depths... and the worsening misery inside...

undaunted...yet helpless...

courageous... but weary...

trying to be real... but being pretentious...

what is there left that is real?

pinakamalaking pagsubok sa buhay ko

pinakamahirap para sa kin?

tanggapin ang katotohanang nahuhulog na nga ako...

na kahit anong gawin ko para mamuhay ng kontento, meron pa ring darating para guluhin hindi lamang ang isip ko kundi pati na rin ang puso ko.

na kahit lahat ginawa ko na para manalo sa mga giyerang nilalabanan ko, paminsan kailangan kong tumanggap ng pagkatalo.

na kahit sabihin kong wala nararamdaman ko namang meron.

na kahit sabihin ko ayos lang naman talaga ko at pabayaan na lang ng iba, e kabaligtaran naman talaga ang gusto ko sabihin...

mahirap talaga...

pati nga pagsulat nito mahirap din.