naglahong superhero

Today's just one of those days when I realize that I am wounded like everyone else...

Sigh... but I am choosing to be happy.

I was broken last monday night...even destroyed. I shamefully admit that even the smallest of things can break me sometimes. I am after all, human... weak and exhausted sometimes.

The hammock had to bear the whole weight of me. I felt heavier because I was laden with tears, anxiety and emptiness. The stars were beautiful as always... and I let the wind blow away my cries... I let go of him one last time... then I was okay.

I washed down my sadness with one big mug of rocky road ice cream. It was gel-gel's birthday, I really didn't feel like pigging out but the ice cream was irresistable. Jett also kissed me because I asked him to and he did... He helped me put my sadness away. It was so sweet of my only brother to attempt to make me feel better. Sigh... I hope he stays that way forever.

It was because of him that I remembered that all hope is not lost. I still have my family, and I am sure that I will be loved by them for the rest of their lives. I did feel loved, and I swore after that I will try my best to be happy again.

Sigh... I've already let go of what I own not. Haha... it had been such a bizzare turn out. It was a shame things had to end this way. Hmm... it didn't have a start anyway!Hahaha!I'm really okay now. I'm not lying to myself. Of course I cried, but I can definitely say that would be the last time. I am choosing to forget and be happy, remember?

Poker faced or not, this is the way I live. Maybe I'll be a mystery to some people forever. Maybe it's the reason why my desires don't come to life... whatever... This is my life and this is the way I want to live.

He's gone. I'm okay now. I can gracefully walk around pretending that I have not lost anything. God knows I'm trying to be happy...I really am...

He's just gone...he'll never be the one who will save me.

pagpapalaya kay superman

Staying awake again at one in the morning...

My spirit was dampened because the clouds yet again hid my falling stars... Would it be rightful of me to claim them?Nothing would make me more happy than seeing them shoot past before my eyes. I am humbled everytime they light up my sky.

Sigh... our sem-break is about to be over. So will be my tormenting infatuation.

I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I should enjoy the moments that I am thrilled, and I should forget the moments that I feel lonely. Maybe he had to be in my life for a while to help me forget someone in the past. I remember mom telling me that finding a replacement isn't the right way to mend a broken heart... I didn't find a replacement. I didn't want anybody to come, but somebody did.

Yes, he turned my mournful world into a simple place of bliss. Suddenly, my foolish anxieties were mere gushes in my head ( I can tolerate physical pain pretty well). If everything that happened was meant for me to be enjoyed in just a short time, then so be it. What happened helped me realize one thing: I can let go and love again no matter how many times my heart gets broken.

Maybe I was wrong to not assume and assume something at the same time. Hahaha... it's funny how I always laugh things off when they get awfully crazy. One thing's for sure... I get turned off with guys who aren't men enough to admit their feelings. I hate seguristas! You know the feeling of stopping yourself from liking a certain person because he's way too devious from your standards?...but you just had to bend your standards because you like him too much?

Hahahaha! What the hell was I thinking?! Even I couldn't blame myself from thinking of just that. Experience is indeed the best teacher. I promise to be more careful next time. Men are monsters. The monsters in them hide when you get to know them and when you finally get to know them, and they get to know you, they pounce on you leaving you helpless and hanging. Hahaha!I am not being bitter. This is Krishna accepting a fact. The truth is, I am not gonna let myself hang this time. Hang for what? Questions that are better left unanswered?

Even the stars are telling me to stop myself from dangerously falling... and I guess I have to do just that.

If I decide to let go, I will let go. If I choose to forget, I know I will forget. If he realizes his weakness even for just a minute late, then the odds of bringing him and me together would be a chance lost forever.

Tonight, I am letting go, and tonight, I am choosing to forget.

Hahaha! I love laughing things off!

Sigh... the clouds my go on hiding my beloved stars...but it doesn't mean they are not there. They are still in the sky, waiting to be gazed upon and be called God's wonders every night by a foolish dreamer like me.