my own writer's block

My tears.
I share them with my pillows.
Silent.Violent.Comforting.
Every night, they put me to sleep.

SIGH...

What to do you say to a friend in need?

I had a friend in need... Well, he didn't exactly say he was in need. I just assumed he did.He needed... consoling perhaps?

DJ's mom died just recently. He's my super great friend who has a habit of showing up everytime I'm in the verge of giving up on my life. When he called me, I didn't even know what to say.

I went to to his mom's funeral with Sky...and I finally got to see him after what seemed like years. He looked okay.His eyes were red and puffy (but he told me he didn't cry) maybe because of lack of sleep...and he looked older. (Probably because we are all getting older).

What do I say to a friend who had just lost someone special in his life?

I was there... and though I grew up learning how to love and play with words, I found myself not finding the right words at all. I didn't know what to say at all.

Condolence?...Be strong?...What else? Are these words all I can tell to a friend who have helped me so much with his words?This is how I repay him for making my life bearable?

SIGH... then it just struck me. I don't have to say anything, right? I just have to be there and let him figure out what I'm trying to say or not say.

I was depressed before the month of July started. I had all the reasons to be bitter and hard... but he said things that woke me up and made me realize how pathetic I've become... More pathetic than before.

I cried during the mass... although I didn't know his mom personally, I felt the feeling of most of the people there. The feeling of emptiness...perhaps a litte bit of denial, anger and despair.

I just wonder how I could stand lamenting everyday about my life when I've got so much... and I look at him and I see him being strong though it hurts.

Seeing him made me feel relieved... Here's the craziest thing: His mom died and I was the one who needed consoling.

My tears?
They still put me to sleep every night.
Silent.Bittersweet.Assuring.
They need not say anything...
I just need them to get through the night.