letting go

Hay... kaya ko pa naman...

I'm still hanging on, and I can see the light, little by little.

I'm learning how to close all my doors, and I am starting to finally turn my back.

I STILL RECALL THE WORDS YOU SAID TO ME...

"I'm not going to hurt you this time... This time, I will be more serious. Hindi ko sasayangin ang chance...Wag kang mawawala..."

IT'S WHAT YOU DID NOT SAY THAT SETS ME FREE...

"...hindi ko alam... ang alam ko hindi pa tayo nakasira na 'ko ng pangako..."

Conversations...

...just letting it slip by my head probably for the last time. Let's just say this is my way of really saying goodbye. It's best doing things the way I see fit.

The week had been really stressful. Aside from the fact that we had duties after lecture, I had to deal with something that really tried my patience... fiercely taught my eyes how to not cry and see... and bitterly taught my heart how to feel nothing.

The sleepless nights I spent during our sem-break?... I made up for it by sleeping my nights away. I slept, and slept, and slept. I slept early and woke up late. Hehe, I'd like to think I slept all my frustrations away.

SIGH... yeah, weary I am. Last night, I was to study for our maternal and child nursing comprehensive exam but I slept right after I ate dinner. I was just really tired. Lately, sleep had been my only relief to life's pain.

I wasn't able to study. I slept on. I woke up early at dawn... and looked up the stars instead. They were shining bright, and it's been ages since I last saw them here at the Bonifacio sky. I missed them badly... then, something hit me.

AND I WON'T LOOK BACK, AND I WON'T REGRET... SOMEDAY I WILL FORGET.

I went to the kitchen and prepared the things I needed. Got that thing which had been lying around for nothing...

THIS IS LETTING GO... THIS IS LETTING GO...

candles and matches...

and along with my deep sighs, and together with the endless twinkling of the stars...

I silently watched the smoke fly away from where it came from. The flames subtly consumed the thing... and I watched and felt him melt away.

THIS IS LETTING GO . THIS IS LETTING GO.

Yeah. It felt good.

*song of the moment: letting go by Sozzi... super nakakarelate sa lyrics...*