ordinary day

This is gonna be a long day.

I am okay now... I was just so down last week, and tomorrow's gonna be a thursday again. I am not really looking forward to it, but I have to get through it somehow or I will be stuck in this long day forever.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was sad... no, I wasn't homesick. I truly enjoy staying at the dorm with Mhay. We have so many things to talk about. Things I wasn't able to know because I had a busy time in LB. I missed a lot of moments...can't do anything about it now, can I? That's just the way it is.

Hmm... I just feel so empty. Last night, I cried again. It's not because I feel down or anything... I just feel sad. I'm missing someone I shouldn't miss.Sigh...

I try to be strong each and everyday. I try to believe in myself, in what I am, in what I have... I try to believe in other people...and what do I get? They just give up on me.

Don't know what's real anymore. I feel like living in a world full of lies... the world is full of lies. Don't know who's a friend or not. Things are really getting messy.

Thursday's gonna come again. I don't know why I'm saying this... but I would just have to tell myself that I am something she's never gonna be until I would finally be able to last the day.

*******
Smile a lovely smile
I can still see through your eyes.
The sparkle they show
tell me how much you loathe me.
No one's telling you you're lesser than who you are
why want more?
Am I wrong in thinking you're a friend?
I am tired of playing your game.
I want to be real
not the way you want to be untrue.
Keep away from me...
just get away from me.
Let us live without getting in each other's way.
I'd rather live that way
than having you as a friend
and having my heart torn into pieces
by the way you silently hate me.
Smile a lovely smile.
I can still see through your eyes.
Can you see through mine?
I loathe you too...
but I will not mess things up
like the way you do.
*******

Hay naku... high blood na yata ako. Hehehe, I feel better after writing that stuff. Nothing can calm me better than a heartfelt poem!