magical feeling

... a familiar rhythm plays in my head... ( my fingers snap on their own, my right foot starts moving together with the beat)...

I should be exhausted for listening to that tune almost the whole night... until dawn. I can't get the song out of my head. It's as phenomenal as "Amber" and I really do not know what has gotten over me. "...It's a magical feeling..." Maybe I'll be singing that song someday.

Magical feeling... the last time I picked out a song that reminded me of him, I chose the song, "Every little thing he does is magic..." and now, I definitely think "magical feeling" is for me. What's with the word magic anyway? And M.Y.M.P. had both songs in their albums...(just bought versions and beyond acoustics yesterday at landmark).

It's a magical feeling... haha!I couldn't think of a more girl-power song. It's bitter but subtle. It's not what I would call sour graping, but it's definitely something like that, made innocent with its country rock beat.

Sigh... wish I'd be feeling magical someday.

string of words... string of thoughts... what's so magical with that anyway? I am writing here because there's nothing left to do.I keep on playing the song on my mind to make me last the day. To help me not thinkof the very thing that would shatter me into pieces. (beat....beat... beat)

Seriously, I don't know what's so important about my life anymore. I'm searching for something that is unknown even to me. I thirst for something that even I can't name. What is wrong with my life? ... I feel so empty. I'm always feeling empty.

Things are falling apart. I won some, and lost lots. I have a sickening feeling inside of me... it's like my stomach churns every now and then. I feel so restless. At the end of the day, I would be feeling so tired, but when the dark of night comes... I couldn't banish myself to sleep. Does my mind still work? I am thinking, and yet I have nothing to give and share... I think I'm dreaming my life away. It's just isn't easy for me to be myself. When I love, I really love. When I dream, I really dream.

Magical feeling...
Will that feeling come when I'm finally over something that was never meant to be?
Will that feeling come when I finally accept myself for who and what I am?
Will that feeling come when I can finally feel again that there's a meaning to what I'm writing?
Will that feeling come when this string of thoughts come to an end?

Magical feeling...magical feeling... wish I could sing the words while meaning them... not just sing along with it feeling the opposite thing.

"...it's a magical feeling,knowing you're not meant for me."