headache

Am I flying high today? My day started with a quiz which our group in Anatomy scored for one point. ONE POINT. How senseless can that be? We're the worst group of all. Did it bother me at all? Not in the least!

My parents always tell me that one failure won't determine your future. True. Just because you failed, that doesn't mean you won't have any success in the future. That one point quiz this morning was nothing compared to my real problems. I am not in the slightest bit bothered by it because I know we failed not because we're stupid but because our teacher wasn't fair in asking the questions. Our professor's style was totally unfair. It was an example of "one failure will make you a total failure"... and life isn't like that. In fact, life is full of failures. Failures people learn from. Anywayz, I wasn't really affected. I know deep in my heart that we were not stupid and that we were just victims of an unjust system, and that we were just unlucky.

*sigh*...

It was father's day yesterday. I attended the seven p.m. mass at church and I was so touched by the prayer for the fathers. I missed dad...(surprisingly!joke!) I guess I just envied the kids who were cheering their dad in front of the crowd. My dad could've been there... then we'd eat outside for dinner, or mom will cook a delicious meal and end our night with ice cream. I felt like crying. I miss dad so much! ...and mom too, and my siblings in Thailand.

I was just so tired. People can't help but get tired sometimes. I haven't had enough sleep, my class schedule is sucking the life out of me, and what happened to me last week ( the dukutan incident, the same bastards were in the a different bus I was riding on last Friday and how I wanted to be a bird so I can fly, fly away!) is scaring me out of my wits. I am so afraid of commuting alone, and I couldn't sleep during my travel time. When I get home, I feel so worn out. Then come tomorrow, I would be off early again.

Who do I blame? My class sched is awful because the people at the manual advising table won't let us choose what time of the class we should be enrolled in. They only give out the control number without you having the liberty to know when the classes would occur. They tell you to just have the sections change when the first week of classes start and when classes did start and you try to fix your sched, they wouldn't allow you to choose a convenient time for you because of a shallow reason (they think all students liked to change sections so that they could be with their friends... they should know not all students here have so many friends and they should know not all students change sections for that reason). Do you know I had to stay dumbstruck for six hours befor my next class during mondays, wednesdays, and fridays? My first class starts at seven a.m., I am just a useless wanderer from ten to four, then I am obliged to endure chem class from four to seven p.m. I needed to change my section, because it was such an inconvenient situation for me, and it's not like I live a block away from school. I have to travel for miles for whoever's sake! And when they did allow me to change sections, (I talked to the dean and she sympathized with me...it was really an awful schedule), all the sections were closed because it was too late. And now I had to suffer becuase of the injustice of it all.

Justice... so great a word, so reached by few. It is laid in the hands of people who knows what it means, but does not carry it out.

Who am I to blame for all these?

Tell the answer to my head ache... then maybe it will go away.