Easy to ignore

Browsing through FB's newsfeed is getting really depressing for me.  If not for candy crush, I think I would have deactivated my account. :(

I can't believe after much perseverance I am at this phase again.  

"You and the moon are a beautiful sight to me..."

That again.  So it has been years and that song by sixpence none the richer still reigns over my life. 

What am I to do now?

They say the first step to healing is acknowledge the facts.  

Let me make things clear.  Years ago, I was able to accomplish this feat. You know, accepting the facts.  Foreseeing that time and time again, I only have me to rescue myself.  That I could never rely on anybody else.  I could never be a damsel in distress.  

It was fulfilling, achieving that feeling that no one could let me down, no matter how lonely I seemed. I kind of already planned it out.  I thought I planned right.

Let's fast forward to now... now that I am somewhere different from what I imagined.  My plan needed to be revised.  I had to think less of myself, and more of whom I share my heart with.  

That being said, I think I was trying to be positive. We all get what we deserve right? 

So do I really deserve this now?... Now that I'm realizing I need to get back to my original plan... because now, the recent plan is most likely no longer feasible.  

SIGH... I think I'm far more stronger than the person I was before. I vow to never make my family suffer because I'm suffering.  This time, I will not let them see me cry.  

I let the night break, and I rest in the truth that my heart could not ache anymore.