Broken everyday...

Christmas is just around the corner.

I can feel it every morning as I find it hard to get out of the comfort of my ever trustee warm blanket. Plus the fact that my siblings wake the sleepiness out of me before they go to church to attend "simbang gabi". Then when they're gone the coldness would just lull me back to sleep. Haha... tough life. I find it hard to push myself to get out of bed, prepare myself and be off to work.

Always off to work... it's really so hard to live, especially when you feel like you don't have a life to live.

Today became one of those "lambasting days" I spent in PDH. I was so stressed out. My neck literally ached because someone was always breathing behind it. I found it so challenging to smile and spread all the care that I need share. To top it all off, I walked all the way from PDH to SM Bicutan on the way home, because traffic was so heavy... and I needed to walk my frustrations out anyway, so in conclusion, I exhausted all my energies. Hahahaha! The things I do to help myself get by... :')

I think I was hurt... or maybe it was my pride talking. But then, the good side of me won over, so I refrained from being too bitter. Thought of all the possibilities why the one who hurt me, hurt me the way she did. MAYBE SHE'S IN PAIN. Maybe she's suffering so much that she couldn't help but spread her pain to the people around her. Maybe driving innocent people nuts makes her happy. Well, I hope I made her happy. I am sincerely wishing her a happy christmas... hope she feels loved so next time, instead of hatred, she'd be spreading love.

Drama ko noh? Haha!

The thing is... I hope she realizes that she's not the only one who's in pain. She's not the only one whose heart is lonely and broken. She's not the only who is alone and unhappy. There are millions of people in the whole wide world who share the same fate... but some can manage to treat other people nicely. (Lord, I do hope my heart finds it to always put myself in her shoes.)

I am just grateful that I still find the heart to be nice in spite of all the pain I went through. That my mind is sane and unselfish enough to think that even though I am hurt, the world did not have to stop and stand in line for my attention...

...and although most aspects of my life seem to be going wrong... some little parts of it are going right. At least the most important, little, powerful parts. :)

Christmas is just around the corner... so is my heart and the one I share it with.

So bittersweet. :')