There's no turning back...
It's not like I want to turn back in the first place. I knew that when I felt like saying those words back, I was ready. Or so I thought. hehe.
SIGHing a happy, wondering sigh. Hahahaha! Finally, finally, finally... ;)
Here are the things that I'm missing:
- waking up without having to argue with myself if i should text first or not. (was always resigned not to text first)
- dedicating the cards i read to my non-existent special someone (it gives me the feeling of being in a natural high thinking that someday i might find someone who'd be worthy enough to be given those cards to.hopeless romantic i am!)
- thinking of only me... and me... and me... and just me... haha! selfish?!
- staying up late at night talking to myself, reflecting and dreaming by myself, and laughing and crying only to myself.
- not having to say the way i feel because i am not obliged to and nobody cares what i really think. (i am so fine with that)
- texting and pestering him anytime i feel like it with hesitation. (sorry, naninibago pa ko. cut me some slack!)
- giving the cheesiest cards i could find. (hahahaha!)
- thinking of me, him, me and him, and me with him. (dalawa naman, at least nag improve na, hindi lang puro sarili!)
- staying up late at night talking with him, reflecting, arguing and debating with him, dreaming with him, and laughing and simply feeling sad with him.
- the hardest thing: not being able to use the words "wala lang", "ewan", " hindi ko alam", "basta", and "secret" as answers to the most mind boggling and senseless questions of his.
The things that I have to live with right now... are better than those that I'm missing.
So when I said there's no turning back...
I really meant it.
*I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else but here...*
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