My Picture Story

MY PICTURE STORY




1. A picture of you in your room.

with my sister gel :)

2. A picture of you posing with someone you don't actually like.




well... i didn't exactly not like him, but he was such a pain in the neck that time. so spiteful!

3. A picture with a former crush.




okay, i was not in the picture. I was somewhere on the floor thinking of what to say when our turn to present our progress report comes. This is the closest photo I can find that could qualify as such. Hehe ;)


4. A picture of you very drunk.




correction: i wasn't VERY drunk when this photo was taken... but I remember my friends telling me I was laughing at the most senseless things. I guess I was feeling tipsy? But not drunk. :)

5. A picture of you with a parent or two.




With mom and dad during our oath taking. :)

6. A picture of you on your birthday, or your favorite holiday.




I turned silver and my friends celebrated my birthday eve with me. It was my best birthday ever.


7. A picture of you from your younger years.




hahaha... look at my smile. so mischievous! it was like i was always up to no good. =)


8. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits.





that's my fave green blouse up there and my favorite yellow jacket below. ;)

9. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.




believe me, this is goofy enough for me. haha!

10. A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive.




lahat naman ng grad pic ineedit diba?


11. A picture of you and a team or club you're in.




Easter Tradition with ComLec

12. A picture of a night you regret.




How could I forget? :( I nearly jumped over a cliff (metaphorically speaking).


13. A picture of you showing off a new haircut.




I wasn't exactly showing it, but I just had a hair cut when this picture was taken. Was just days fresh from being confined at the hospital.

14. A picture of you truly being yourself.




Dreamer much? :)


15. The most recent picture of you.




:)


16. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.




They made me do it! It was so hilarious though. haha!

17. A picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.




high school life... wish it never ended.


18. A picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more thankful that it is.




Last day of november 2008 NLE.


19. A picture with your oldest friend(s).




Forever friends Tropang Adik

20. A picture with your newest friend(s).




New found friends... Red Cross co-trainees

21. A picture of you when you were anything but happy... Even if you were smiling and did your best to hide it.




:(... was wishing I was a bird so I could fly, fly away.

22. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.




I love it. :)

23. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.




Yeah... I wasn't as bitter as I am now.

24. A picture of you in a fashion "DON'T."




I clearly instructed jett not to take a picture of me showing my face. He tried defying me and I ended up hiding under my umbrella.

25. A picture of you in a swimsuit - whether you love it or loathe it.




Palawan, May 2009


26. A picture of you taking a shot / chugging a beer / downing some sort of mixed drink.





This is the closest photo I can find. :)

27. A picture of yourself that you hate.




I was so weak... I vowed never to feel as pathetic as I was feeling when this photo was taken.

28. A picture of you with someone you love.




Sandwiched between Yogi Bear and Wonderwall


29. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you.




Breaking away...

30. A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.




Just reflecting and dreaming.

31. A picture of a time when everything was changing.





Yeah... things were changing. ;) I was getting over lots of things that made my heart ache. :D


32. A picture that makes your heart hurt.




Awwww... every little bit hurt. :'(

33. A picture that makes your heart smile.




I know... it is also my most recent picture. Well, it makes me smile, so what?!

34. A picture of one of the best nights/days of your life.





T.A. nights are always the best. :)

nosy, paranoid, feeler that he is

Okay... so I probably went overly dramatic these past few days. I'm really starting to think July is a cursed month. I am tired of blaming everything on the hormones. I am not using it as an excuse this time.

I'm reflecting on the slight mishaps that happened this week. I am silently scolding myself for trying to be too hard when I only needed to be strong.

Months ago, I would've probably punished myself for feeling this way... you know, in total abandon of what everyone might think about me loving him this way... but now, I simply do not care. I am not dealing with maybe's here... because what I just wrote is real. I keep on saying I do not play around, so that's the fact that everyone around me has to face.

I guess I got too consumed with the cynical way of thinking that some of my trusted friends have. Somehow it got to me... and I let it get the best of me. A foolish mistake I am vehemently avoiding from now on.

I am changing... in a funny way that I never expected.

All because of the nosy, paranoid, feeler person that he is.

I'm so lovin' it. :)

Tired of loving him...

"Have you ever felt like you were tired of loving?"

An old friend had asked me.

I thought of all the times that I felt that way. I guess at one major point in my life I got tired of loving someone. The number of times I used the word "tiring, tired, tiresome" in my entries just to say that I was tired... but I never learned. The "tiring" tirade continued because I let it. I just didn't know when to let go. I kept losing in my silent wars because I let myself lose. In one way or another, I was just plain tired, so I went ahead, and allowed myself to die.

"Kilala kita... you dont' ask for too much. You can't blame us for trying to protect you because we don't want to see such a nice person like you getting hurt."

Another great friend recently told me that. I swear I almost cried when he said that.

I know right?! Or more like I don't know. Am I really?

Am I in another quiet battle?

Didn't I say I hate waiting? That I hate hanging by the moment.... because it's painful?

If waiting is painful, then I should stop waiting. If I am starting to feel tired, then I should take a rest.

Easier said than done. :'(

... because I wait for the people I love, and I pathetically, if not willing, then am most certainly ready to lose for them.

I don't know which is hurting more... my pride or my heart?

:'(