naglahong superhero

Today's just one of those days when I realize that I am wounded like everyone else...

Sigh... but I am choosing to be happy.

I was broken last monday night...even destroyed. I shamefully admit that even the smallest of things can break me sometimes. I am after all, human... weak and exhausted sometimes.

The hammock had to bear the whole weight of me. I felt heavier because I was laden with tears, anxiety and emptiness. The stars were beautiful as always... and I let the wind blow away my cries... I let go of him one last time... then I was okay.

I washed down my sadness with one big mug of rocky road ice cream. It was gel-gel's birthday, I really didn't feel like pigging out but the ice cream was irresistable. Jett also kissed me because I asked him to and he did... He helped me put my sadness away. It was so sweet of my only brother to attempt to make me feel better. Sigh... I hope he stays that way forever.

It was because of him that I remembered that all hope is not lost. I still have my family, and I am sure that I will be loved by them for the rest of their lives. I did feel loved, and I swore after that I will try my best to be happy again.

Sigh... I've already let go of what I own not. Haha... it had been such a bizzare turn out. It was a shame things had to end this way. Hmm... it didn't have a start anyway!Hahaha!I'm really okay now. I'm not lying to myself. Of course I cried, but I can definitely say that would be the last time. I am choosing to forget and be happy, remember?

Poker faced or not, this is the way I live. Maybe I'll be a mystery to some people forever. Maybe it's the reason why my desires don't come to life... whatever... This is my life and this is the way I want to live.

He's gone. I'm okay now. I can gracefully walk around pretending that I have not lost anything. God knows I'm trying to be happy...I really am...

He's just gone...he'll never be the one who will save me.