InErKs' Box...

 Sometime in April 2018. 

While waiting for the boat to come back, during one of our water training nights, I sat quietly on the grass of our training ground. 

I just finished with pulling the sack of sand, some of my batchmates (we were the newbies at the time), were already at the shore, waiting for their turn to have a seat on the boat. 

I asked myself what am I doing this for? 

I wanted to fade away because of exhaustion. Then and there, I just wanted to sleep, and not feel anything. I dread the coming turn for me to paddle. I worry about not being able to keep up with the pace. I was so anxious to have my name being called out again, because like everything else at the time, I couldn't seem to get anything right.  Silent hysteria, it was. My arms hurt so bad because of poling the previous night, where did I gather all the guts to show up for dragon boat that night? 

Much as I was afraid of letting my teammates down, I knew there would be something about paddling that would satisfy me.  I took this photo of the sky. Yep, how exquisite, our training ground was.  I have always been a person, who is so in touch with her feelings, and so, looking up and seeing the moon like that, I knew I would write about it, when I got home, and I really did. In the midst of my agitation, because of a recent incident, the moon brought back my calm. In spite of all my solicitude, I was glad that I came.  Paddling my heart out, with the moon extra shining bright... it was perfect.  

I remembered going home, feeling light hearted. Wrote this before I passed out on my trusty bed.  

It was that night, that something changed in me.  The question that I asked... I had an answer to it. 

I was, and still am... because I let me be. Looking back now, I guess that was how I wanted it to be.  I think this is how I want it, 'till now. I am so twisted! It was then that I learned the power of keeping the faith in something, while being detached of the outcome.  I was also learning how to judge less... people are just forced to do everything they can to survive life. 

Hence this Haiku. No tainted flags.☺

* Found my musings while skimming through forgotten files. Photos of beautiful Abu Dhabi taken by me. I posted most of these on Ig. The heart writes what it wants to write.