round and round i go...

I found myself downloading for the first time, a song by a particular singer that I am not so fond of.

Maybe when you're broken, you suddenly change to someone you never thought you would be.

"... makes me feel like I can't live without you..."

Or maybe I can... but I'll be living like I'm dead.

I had to force myself last night to be thankful for what I have.

• I am unemployed, but I am provided with food and shelter.
• I am unemployed but because my parents are generous, I don't have to worry about my phone's credit. (not that I need it now. I could turn off my phone for the whole year and it would not matter)
• I have all the time for watching all the television shows I want.
• I can listen to the radio all day long, and nobody would be obliging me to stop.
• I have my family... my family that's whole and not broken.

And then I can't think of anything more... because yeah, aside from that, I have nothing else left.  

Now is the best time to never wake, but my problem is, I can't even force myself to sleep. 

Here I go again. 

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the one who needed saving..." 

And then I realize, oh well, I can't really depend on others to do that for me.  I only have myself.